In Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker, he describes a game called "The Gift of Fear," which is designed to help children develop and listen to their instincts or gut feelings. The game encourages children to pay attention to their feelings and bodily responses when they sense something is wrong or dangerous.
The basic premise of the game is to create hypothetical scenarios where a child might encounter a situation that could be unsafe, such as being approached by a stranger or feeling uneasy in a certain environment. The child is then asked how they feel and what they might do in that situation. Through this, children learn to trust their instincts, understand the importance of their own safety, and know that it’s okay to say "no" or seek help if something doesn’t feel right.
The game emphasizes the idea that these instincts are valuable and should be trusted, reinforcing that feelings of discomfort or fear are important signals that should not be ignored. This helps children build confidence in their ability to recognize and respond to potential dangers, ultimately empowering them to protect themselves.
What I Used To Do
I’d take each of my little kids into a nearby grocery store one at a time, holding hands as we walked around the aisles. Then I’d say: let’s play a game!
Little kids love games, so they are immediately all-in, excited and ready to go.
Here’s the game: you can’t find Daddy! So let's walk around together, look at each person, and find the people you would ask for help. Then for each person, you explain to me why you chose that person.
Ready! Set! Go!
After doing a few rounds of this game, we reversed the inquiry to “who would you not ask, and why.”
An Important Lesson for New Parents
We should also develop and listen to our own guts. For example: do not make medical or vaccine decisions while we feel uneasy about it. We can tell the doctor: "not today, I need more information and time to consider."